Wow, it's been ages.

Hey guys, wow it's been ages.

Well, what have I been up to? Mostly A-Levels, the dreaded A-Levels.
I finished my exams in June and you would think I 'd feel free as a bird but no, I'm now stressing about results day in 13 days. Man, I hate my brain.

While I've not been updating this, I've been in a DBT group to help with my mental health. I didn't think it would help at all (tbh I didn't think much would.) But I'm thrilled to say it makes a difference, as long as I put the work in continually. The skills from this group are what I'm trying to use now to get over my nerves and unhealthy obsession with the faithful day in 2 weeks time. I'll go into DBT more in a new post but skills such as radical acceptance, have a non-judgmental and being in 'wise mind' really do help.

So, if you're stressing about something you can't control, these things may help you. I believe the skills taught in the group are not only amazing in my recovery but could help improve a lot of peoples lives, whether they struggles with mental health issues or not. I mean, we all worry and get nervous about things we can't help and I've been taught the skills to try and help deal with that.

Radical Acceptance
The situation is how it is and cannot be changed. You are not expected to change it either, it is just how it is and you have to wholly accept that.

Non-judgmental
Links to radical acceptance. No judgments, positive or negative need be attached to said thing. This includes judgments on yourself or others concerning the thing. Just deal with the facts. For example, if I were to get lower than expected grades in my exams, these are neither bad or good. It is just how it is and by extension it does not mean I am stupid or a bad person.

So, there are a couple of things I've learnt recently that really help me in many aspect of life, especially worrying. Maybe you can find a way to apply them to yourself.

Take care,

Jen 

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Fortune Favours the Brave

This quote has really helped me over the past year or so.

I have spent a lot of my life overwhelmed with anxiety; this include over things like exams,being left on my own, spiders, ghosts and even some people.

Over the past couple of years I have been working hard at improving my mental health and anxiety levels and I think I've improved a lot. Obviously, there have been times of increased stress, as there will be for everyone, but I feel like I've dealt with this well since identifying my anxiety and how I can try to improve situations.

During one of these stressful and anxious periods last summer (dreaded exams) I stumbled across the quote "Fortune favours the brave" and I instantly was able to apply it to myself.
I thought if I was able to keep being brave by studying and sitting the exams I would be in a much better situations than if I let anxiety take over myself. Basically, fortune would favour me for bravery in the form of sitting these exams. And it did. I revised hard and sat my exams no matter how scared I was. I was rewarded by my good results last summer which I am immensely proud of.

I'm glad I found this quote, it gave me that boost of motivation to overcome my fears and go out and get what I wanted. I'm still using it for motivation and reassurance today. I will be applying for uni and facing interviews for mental health nursing so I shall be referring myself back to it a lot! It shouldn't be too hard as it is now stuck on my bedroom wall haha!

I hope this quote will be useful to some of you.

Take care,

Jen

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We've all been asked that question when we were younger.

With all the answers such as popstar, princess and astronaut I remember I really wanted to an estate agent when I was 5... strange I know.

But, when you get older, say into secondary school, it gets harder to identify what you actually want to do. There seems to be this pressure within the education system to know exactly how you want to spend the rest of your life when you're just a teenager. It's stressful, most people just don't know and many people change their minds completely, as they should be allowed to. When you've just turned a teenager you're still developing as an individual and still have experiences ahead of you that may shape what you want to do in the future.

I'm writing this because I want to try and reassure people. The pressures from education about jobs and the future continues as you get older and into higher education and it can be worrying when you are unsure of what you want to be/do. Just remember that you don't have to decide the rest of your future right now. People change careers when they are 50 and upwards, even going to uni multiple times, so you can change your mind too! You may find you are very happy with first job you do, you may find you hate the job you thought you always wanted. Don't worry, you are allowed to alter things in your life, including your job.

Education isn't the be all and end all (even though it can seem like it when you are younger) and neither are exams or uni. We are told that our exams shape the rest of our life forever, but remember you can resit and redo things if you are not happy with your performance. If you are determined to do something, you will get their in the end, even if it takes longer than others.

I just want people to know that education, uni and jobs is not everything, or what defines you as successful which is something I think we are fed too much when we are young. Yes, they can be very important but remember to look after your physical and mental health and develop yourself as a person as well throughout your years. There are always options and you should do what you see fit to pursue happiness.

Thank you for reading this ramble haha!

Take care,

Jen

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'Simple' Tasks

Even the simplest of things can seem as tough as running a marathon when you are suffering with depression. The most ordinary, menial task can really seem like so much effort that you would rather just staying bed with the covers over your head.

As mental health issues affect an individual’s daily life to some extent, it can be assumed that some things will be harder than others to do however, when depression makes it seem so difficult to complete these ‘simple’ tasks it can be harder for people to understand, leading to interpretations of the said individual being ‘lazy’ or ‘unmotivated’. I know I think that about myself when in low mood however, it is of course easy to critise oneself when in that state of mind.

A couple of tasks for me that really seem huge when I’ve been in this sort of situation before are plugging appliances in to the socket and making a cuppa tea. When my mood has been lower these just seem like climbing Everest.

This has been a little bit of a ramble of the thoughts going round in my head but, with mental health awareness gradually improving, I would like to see more understanding surrounding the effects of mental illnesses such as depression on daily life for people. Being misunderstood by those around you whilst suffering with a mental illness can be upsetting, especially when you are trying your hardest to do these everyday tasks.

Remember, the figure is 1 in 4 of us will suffer with a mental health problem. This means becoming a bit more aware of how they may affect people’s everyday life may really help a friend, family member, colleague ect.

Take care,

Jen

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The Hard Work Paid Off

It really did. 

The year before last, I began my first year of A-Levels and by the end of it didn’t have much to show from it. This is because I was very ill that year both physically for the early part and then after that due to a serious decline in my mental health. My depression and anxiety ruled my life and basically, became my identity. That year, it was nye on impossible to think about exams and coursework when it took all my energy and concentration to even muster up a sentence about what I might have for dinner that night. That is unfortunately what severe depression can leave you like.

To be honest, I barely remember that year, I just remember being sad and sleeping but, I got through it.

This previous academic year came around and I was determined to start again and do well. It was very difficult at times with mental health problems still lingering as they do, but it was great fun too. I met some great friends, my boyfriend and rekindled my interest in Psychology where the determination and ‘spark’ in me also kind of returned along with it. My love for the subject made me very happy and consolidated what I want to do with my life in terms of a career in mental health. 

Exams were difficult and very stressful but I did them and was so proud of myself for that. I remember seeing a quote not long before my exams that said ‘fortune favors the brave’. I thought to myself ‘if you are brave enough to sit that exam, fortune will favor you’ and well, I was right.

Results day rolled around on the 14^th August and I was handed the envelope. Obviously, this was a bit terrifying but when I opened it I was very pleasantly surprised to see my results, especially Psychology and Sociology where I achieved my A s! 

Earlier in the year, I would have thought that impossible but there I was standing with these fantastic results in my hand that belonged to me. I had made it through the year from hell previously and now, I had the proof in my hands that’s I had been very successful academically. I know it sounds cliche but no matter what the results said, I knew I was a stronger person for my struggles but this was like solid proof to me. It was like a 'look at what you achieved, here’s the evidence you’ve done this'.

I am now doing my A2 levels and know it’s still going to be tough but I value the determination, or possibly just stubbornness that I’ve acquired along the way to achieve what I want to achieve.

I guess if you were to take a moral from this it would be to not give up but that can be easier said than done when you feel so down. Perhaps just the comfort in knowing if you just keep moving, no matter what the pace, you can be successful and happy eventually.

So here’s to the next year and whatever it brings. Hopefully positives and hopefully happiness.

Jen

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Over

Hey guys, well happy new year and I hope everyone has had a lovely festive season.

2014 is upon us and we have waved 2013 goodbye, and I for one am relieved. 2013 was probably the hardest year of my life. I became severely depressed and consumed by anxiety; subsequently I had to drop out of my studies due to this. I could barely leave the house, let alone to go to college and think about my future career prospects when I couldn't even process any information or even think ahead to the next day. To be honest, I remember feeling low and anxious along with just sleeping and that was my life for a lot of this year.

But of course good things have happened too. I have restarted my studies and even have aspirations to study psychology at university and I performed with friends in my theatre groups production of 'Les Miserables' which was such an amazing experience (plus I'm keeping up the performing, in Feb I've got my groups Variety show and also Grease). I'm now in a relationship I'm very happy in and of course I have my little pup who keeps me smiling too.

I hope 2014 is going to be kind to me, I know it's going to be challenging and stressful but if I made it through last year then I can get through this one. While I still live day to day with depression and anxiety I refuse to let them consume me.

Wishing you all the best for this year, may it be a good 'un!

Jen 

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OCD Awareness Week - how much do you know?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD, an anxiety disorder in which unwanted thoughts (obsessions)  provoke repetitive actions (compulsions) in order to try and stop the anxiety caused by the obsessive thoughts.

We all know of OCD, most of us use it casually as part of our lexicon "I'm so OCD", "I don't want a messy room because I'm really OCD". It's become such a common phrase that we pass the condition off as something, for example, tidy/organised people 'are' simply because it's just used in that context a lot. It is really stereotyped.

OCD is diagnosed in approximately 1-2% of people in the UK, meaning that the obsessions and compulsions are severe enough that they effect their everyday life. It can really feel like you are trapped inside all the unwanted thoughts and the absolute need to follow out the compulsions in order to stop the thoughts 'coming true'.

Obsessions and compulsions may be linked, like checking you have locked the door a certain number of times so that nobody can break in, that consequence of the door being left open makes sense to everyone however, they may not be linked like this. Someone suffering from OCD may need to check the door is locked a certain number of times because the unwanted thought that they think will happen if they don't complete the compulsion may be something like a close relative dieing. That's a horrible thing to have to live with everyday, to have to complete these compulsions because you believe if you don't a terrible like that may happen. OCD really is a horrible condition that leaves you feeling trapped  inside your own head while sometimes making you feel a bit 'crazy' at the same time - especially if you have to complete a bizarre looking compulsion around people - I know sometimes I have to touch the wall a certain number of times while in school and people have often looked at me like I'm a complete weirdo.

I've said this before but I think the more we all know about mental health the better we can understand and diminish the stigma surrounding it.

Thanks for reading guys, it really means a lot if you've stuck around to have a read of this.

See you soon,

Jen

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