It really did.
The year before last, I began my first year of A-Levels and by the end of it didn’t have much to show from it. This is because I was very ill that year both physically for the early part and then after that due to a serious decline in my mental health. My depression and anxiety ruled my life and basically, became my identity. That year, it was nye on impossible to think about exams and coursework when it took all my energy and concentration to even muster up a sentence about what I might have for dinner that night. That is unfortunately what severe depression can leave you like.
To be honest, I barely remember that year, I just remember being sad and sleeping but, I got through it.
This previous academic year came around and I was determined to start again and do well. It was very difficult at times with mental health problems still lingering as they do, but it was great fun too. I met some great friends, my boyfriend and rekindled my interest in Psychology where the determination and ‘spark’ in me also kind of returned along with it. My love for the subject made me very happy and consolidated what I want to do with my life in terms of a career in mental health.
Exams were difficult and very stressful but I did them and was so proud of myself for that. I remember seeing a quote not long before my exams that said ‘fortune favors the brave’. I thought to myself ‘if you are brave enough to sit that exam, fortune will favor you’ and well, I was right.
Results day rolled around on the 14th August and I was handed the envelope. Obviously, this was a bit terrifying but when I opened it I was very pleasantly surprised to see my results, especially Psychology and Sociology where I achieved my A s!
Earlier in the year, I would have thought that impossible but there I was standing with these fantastic results in my hand that belonged to me. I had made it through the year from hell previously and now, I had the proof in my hands that’s I had been very successful academically. I know it sounds cliche but no matter what the results said, I knew I was a stronger person for my struggles but this was like solid proof to me. It was like a 'look at what you achieved, here’s the evidence you’ve done this'.
I am now doing my A2 levels and know it’s still going to be tough but I value the determination, or possibly just stubbornness that I’ve acquired along the way to achieve what I want to achieve.
I guess if you were to take a moral from this it would be to not give up but that can be easier said than done when you feel so down. Perhaps just the comfort in knowing if you just keep moving, no matter what the pace, you can be successful and happy eventually.
So here’s to the next year and whatever it brings. Hopefully positives and hopefully happiness.