Wow, it's been ages.

Hey guys, wow it's been ages.

Well, what have I been up to? Mostly A-Levels, the dreaded A-Levels.
I finished my exams in June and you would think I 'd feel free as a bird but no, I'm now stressing about results day in 13 days. Man, I hate my brain.

While I've not been updating this, I've been in a DBT group to help with my mental health. I didn't think it would help at all (tbh I didn't think much would.) But I'm thrilled to say it makes a difference, as long as I put the work in continually. The skills from this group are what I'm trying to use now to get over my nerves and unhealthy obsession with the faithful day in 2 weeks time. I'll go into DBT more in a new post but skills such as radical acceptance, have a non-judgmental and being in 'wise mind' really do help.

So, if you're stressing about something you can't control, these things may help you. I believe the skills taught in the group are not only amazing in my recovery but could help improve a lot of peoples lives, whether they struggles with mental health issues or not. I mean, we all worry and get nervous about things we can't help and I've been taught the skills to try and help deal with that.

Radical Acceptance
The situation is how it is and cannot be changed. You are not expected to change it either, it is just how it is and you have to wholly accept that.

Non-judgmental
Links to radical acceptance. No judgments, positive or negative need be attached to said thing. This includes judgments on yourself or others concerning the thing. Just deal with the facts. For example, if I were to get lower than expected grades in my exams, these are neither bad or good. It is just how it is and by extension it does not mean I am stupid or a bad person.

So, there are a couple of things I've learnt recently that really help me in many aspect of life, especially worrying. Maybe you can find a way to apply them to yourself.

Take care,

Jen 

x

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We've all been asked that question when we were younger.

With all the answers such as popstar, princess and astronaut I remember I really wanted to an estate agent when I was 5... strange I know.

But, when you get older, say into secondary school, it gets harder to identify what you actually want to do. There seems to be this pressure within the education system to know exactly how you want to spend the rest of your life when you're just a teenager. It's stressful, most people just don't know and many people change their minds completely, as they should be allowed to. When you've just turned a teenager you're still developing as an individual and still have experiences ahead of you that may shape what you want to do in the future.

I'm writing this because I want to try and reassure people. The pressures from education about jobs and the future continues as you get older and into higher education and it can be worrying when you are unsure of what you want to be/do. Just remember that you don't have to decide the rest of your future right now. People change careers when they are 50 and upwards, even going to uni multiple times, so you can change your mind too! You may find you are very happy with first job you do, you may find you hate the job you thought you always wanted. Don't worry, you are allowed to alter things in your life, including your job.

Education isn't the be all and end all (even though it can seem like it when you are younger) and neither are exams or uni. We are told that our exams shape the rest of our life forever, but remember you can resit and redo things if you are not happy with your performance. If you are determined to do something, you will get their in the end, even if it takes longer than others.

I just want people to know that education, uni and jobs is not everything, or what defines you as successful which is something I think we are fed too much when we are young. Yes, they can be very important but remember to look after your physical and mental health and develop yourself as a person as well throughout your years. There are always options and you should do what you see fit to pursue happiness.

Thank you for reading this ramble haha!

Take care,

Jen

x

The Hard Work Paid Off

It really did. 

The year before last, I began my first year of A-Levels and by the end of it didn’t have much to show from it. This is because I was very ill that year both physically for the early part and then after that due to a serious decline in my mental health. My depression and anxiety ruled my life and basically, became my identity. That year, it was nye on impossible to think about exams and coursework when it took all my energy and concentration to even muster up a sentence about what I might have for dinner that night. That is unfortunately what severe depression can leave you like.

To be honest, I barely remember that year, I just remember being sad and sleeping but, I got through it.

This previous academic year came around and I was determined to start again and do well. It was very difficult at times with mental health problems still lingering as they do, but it was great fun too. I met some great friends, my boyfriend and rekindled my interest in Psychology where the determination and ‘spark’ in me also kind of returned along with it. My love for the subject made me very happy and consolidated what I want to do with my life in terms of a career in mental health. 

Exams were difficult and very stressful but I did them and was so proud of myself for that. I remember seeing a quote not long before my exams that said ‘fortune favors the brave’. I thought to myself ‘if you are brave enough to sit that exam, fortune will favor you’ and well, I was right.

Results day rolled around on the 14^th August and I was handed the envelope. Obviously, this was a bit terrifying but when I opened it I was very pleasantly surprised to see my results, especially Psychology and Sociology where I achieved my A s! 

Earlier in the year, I would have thought that impossible but there I was standing with these fantastic results in my hand that belonged to me. I had made it through the year from hell previously and now, I had the proof in my hands that’s I had been very successful academically. I know it sounds cliche but no matter what the results said, I knew I was a stronger person for my struggles but this was like solid proof to me. It was like a 'look at what you achieved, here’s the evidence you’ve done this'.

I am now doing my A2 levels and know it’s still going to be tough but I value the determination, or possibly just stubbornness that I’ve acquired along the way to achieve what I want to achieve.

I guess if you were to take a moral from this it would be to not give up but that can be easier said than done when you feel so down. Perhaps just the comfort in knowing if you just keep moving, no matter what the pace, you can be successful and happy eventually.

So here’s to the next year and whatever it brings. Hopefully positives and hopefully happiness.

Jen

x

College Results

Hi-de-ho guys!

Some of you may have collected your results from exams or will be doing so soon. I've got my AS level results which is the first year of A-Levels.

Now, I only have 1 AS; I started out with 4 last September but hey, crap happens doesn't it? Throughout the year I suffered problems which led to me hardly being able to attend sixth form at all. I kept one subject as away of keeping me in a 'sort of' routine' and I was left with my favourite, good ol' psychology.

This past year has been bloody hard, probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through. But I'm still here, I'm still fighting, and on top of that I managed to get an AS level pass too. I'm pretty pleased.

Here's to next month, when I'll be re-starting my AS levels and working towards my desired career in clinical psychology. It's still going to be tough but I have a future that I can look to now and I wanna frickin' do this! Weyhey, motivation!

Hope you all got/get the results you were hoping for, and remember, don't worry if you didn't. Those letters on a piece of paper don't define you.

See you soon,

Jen 

x